ZA Furries

HEY! so do I! therefore I AM CHUCK NORRIS!

My BF crashed the car whilst listening to Adele last night.

He ended up rolling in the jeep.

A german joke is no laughing matter

[quote="Adagio"]Chuck Norris knows who Anoyomouse is...[/quote]

I've met Anoyomouse. Spent 2 nights at his place

A ship carrying blue paint crashed into one carrying red.
the crew was Marooned

What did the whisk say to the egg?
"Pleased to beat you!"

I thought I saw an Eye Doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it was just an Optical Aleutian

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.

I once broke up with a cross-eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else...

The barkeep says "Sorry, we don't serve faster than light neutrino's."
a neutrino walks into a bar

Why's the businessman's collar wet? 'cause the typist
Why's the beach wet? 'cause the seaweed

Jacob Zuma was invited to England to spend a day with the queen. Later that day he askes her; "Queen Elizabeth, how do you rule your land so well?" She then replies; "It's easy mister Zuma, all you have to do is surround yourself with intelligent people." "But how do you know if they are intelligent?" Asked Zuma. "With a simple riddle, let me show you." The Queen then calls for Elton John, "Sir Elton, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?" Elton thinks for a while and replies; "Thats easy, it's me."

After the visit was completed Zuma went back to South Africa and called for Julias Malema. "Julias, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Julias thunks for a while and cant come up with an answer so he goes to the mall to investigate. In the mall he runs into Kurt Darren and asks him, "Kurt, your mother and you father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Kurt the replies "Easy, it's me."

Julias then stomed into Zuma's office yelling he has the answer "What is the answer then?" Zuma asked. "It's Kurt Darren" replied Julias. Zuma then said; "No you idiot! It's Elton John!"

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

How do you cook a three minute egg without an egg times? You take the piano to the kitchen and you play the minute waltz three times!

an infinite number of quantum physicists walk into a bar. THe first oreders one beer, the next a half beer, the next a quater. THe barista looks up, says "You"re all idiots" and pours two beers

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order.
AS THEY SHOULD BE.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an alaskan island, but it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian

Receptionist: A man is here to see you. He says he's shrinking.
Doctor: Just tell him to be a little patient.

----

Man1: I keep seeing purple sausages in front of my eyes.
Man2: Have you seen a doctor?
Man1: No, only purple sausages.

I went into my butcher yesterday and bet him R1000 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said "the steaks are too high"

Australians don't get married, they mate!

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance

.

@ Asjborn: one, in some cases.

Why can't you lie to a 4D being

They see through Everything!
*badum-tss!*

Why didn't the chicken wear any pants?

Highlight here for answer: ---> Because his pecker's on his face.

What do vegetarians bring to a braai?

Crop en dop

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.

Because star wars may be trending soon

I hope I don't offend anyone with this one, but stereotypes exist for a reason.

Why are people from Bellville such bad drivers? Come over and CY (see why).

[I know explaining jokes is poor taste, but here's the context for anyone who didn't get it:
CY is the area code for Bellville on vehicle licence plates.]