Bad joke corner
- Aeowyn
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Re: Bad joke corner
HEY! so do I! therefore I AM CHUCK NORRIS!
I'm all that's left of a BIZARRE childhood
Re: Bad joke corner
My BF crashed the car whilst listening to Adele last night.
He ended up rolling in the jeep.
He ended up rolling in the jeep.
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
A german joke is no laughing matter
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
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-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Venic Dragon
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Re: Bad joke corner
[quote="Adagio"]Chuck Norris knows who Anoyomouse is...[/quote]
I've met Anoyomouse. Spent 2 nights at his place
I've met Anoyomouse. Spent 2 nights at his place
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
A ship carrying blue paint crashed into one carrying red.
the crew was Marooned
the crew was Marooned
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
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-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Contrast
- Necrotic Neurotic
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Re: Bad joke corner
What did the whisk say to the egg?
"Pleased to beat you!"
"Pleased to beat you!"
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
I thought I saw an Eye Doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it was just an Optical Aleutian
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
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-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Valerion
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Re: Bad joke corner
Why are horses so slim?
Because they are on a stable diet.
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
It was in tents.
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Grayhound
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Re: Bad joke corner
I once broke up with a cross-eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else...
True love is real, sometimes it just happens in unexpected places.
I do what I must; not because i'm certain of my own sense of justice, but because i'm not certain of anyone elses.
I do what I must; not because i'm certain of my own sense of justice, but because i'm not certain of anyone elses.
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
The barkeep says "Sorry, we don't serve faster than light neutrino's."
a neutrino walks into a bar
a neutrino walks into a bar
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Asbjorn-phoenix
- Papa Bear
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Re: Bad joke corner
Why's the businessman's collar wet? 'cause the typist
Why's the beach wet? 'cause the seaweed
Why's the beach wet? 'cause the seaweed
If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to fear,
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
- MattedFurr
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Re: Bad joke corner
Jacob Zuma was invited to England to spend a day with the queen. Later that day he askes her; "Queen Elizabeth, how do you rule your land so well?" She then replies; "It's easy mister Zuma, all you have to do is surround yourself with intelligent people." "But how do you know if they are intelligent?" Asked Zuma. "With a simple riddle, let me show you." The Queen then calls for Elton John, "Sir Elton, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?" Elton thinks for a while and replies; "Thats easy, it's me."
After the visit was completed Zuma went back to South Africa and called for Julias Malema. "Julias, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Julias thunks for a while and cant come up with an answer so he goes to the mall to investigate. In the mall he runs into Kurt Darren and asks him, "Kurt, your mother and you father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Kurt the replies "Easy, it's me."
Julias then stomed into Zuma's office yelling he has the answer "What is the answer then?" Zuma asked. "It's Kurt Darren" replied Julias. Zuma then said; "No you idiot! It's Elton John!"
After the visit was completed Zuma went back to South Africa and called for Julias Malema. "Julias, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Julias thunks for a while and cant come up with an answer so he goes to the mall to investigate. In the mall he runs into Kurt Darren and asks him, "Kurt, your mother and you father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Kurt the replies "Easy, it's me."
Julias then stomed into Zuma's office yelling he has the answer "What is the answer then?" Zuma asked. "It's Kurt Darren" replied Julias. Zuma then said; "No you idiot! It's Elton John!"
Must
Hug
Tails!
Hug
Tails!
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Chewbacca
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Re: Bad joke corner
How do you cook a three minute egg without an egg times? You take the piano to the kitchen and you play the minute waltz three times!
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
an infinite number of quantum physicists walk into a bar. THe first oreders one beer, the next a half beer, the next a quater. THe barista looks up, says "You"re all idiots" and pours two beers
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- rusted hydra
- Cannibal
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Re: Bad joke corner
I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order.
AS THEY SHOULD BE.
AS THEY SHOULD BE.
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an alaskan island, but it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Rakuen Growlithe
- Fire Puppy
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Re: Bad joke corner
Receptionist: A man is here to see you. He says he's shrinking.
Doctor: Just tell him to be a little patient.
----
Man1: I keep seeing purple sausages in front of my eyes.
Man2: Have you seen a doctor?
Man1: No, only purple sausages.
Doctor: Just tell him to be a little patient.
----
Man1: I keep seeing purple sausages in front of my eyes.
Man2: Have you seen a doctor?
Man1: No, only purple sausages.
"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
- Helios_phi
- The depraved
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Re: Bad joke corner
I went into my butcher yesterday and bet him R1000 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said "the steaks are too high"
He said "the steaks are too high"
[REDACTED]
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
Australians don't get married, they mate!
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Valerion
- Alpha Wolf
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Re: Bad joke corner
A truck driver is delivering two penguins to a new zoo when he runs over a nail in the road. He manages to flag down a passing motorist.
“Hey there,” says the truck driver. “I’ve got a flat, but I need to get these penguins to the zoo ASAP. Will you please take them while I fix this problem?”
“Of course, no worries,” says the motorist. “Happy to do it. I love penguins.”
So the two penguins crawl into the passenger seat, and off they go.
Well, it takes a little while, but the truck driver gets his tire fixed up. He drives into town headed for the zoo, but when he passes by the cinema, who should he see walking out the door but the motorist with the two penguins in tow.
“Woah there,” he calls out. “I thought I asked you to take them to the zoo!”
“Oh yes, you did,” says the motorist. “But we had a bit of change left over, so we decided to take in a movie, too!’
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Asbjorn-phoenix
- Papa Bear
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Re: Bad joke corner
.
If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to fear,
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
- Kalium_Puceon
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Re: Bad joke corner
@ Asjborn: one, in some cases.
Why can't you lie to a 4D being
They see through Everything!
*badum-tss!*
Why can't you lie to a 4D being
They see through Everything!
*badum-tss!*
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
-Dr. Richard Weisiger
Contact Me!
My Github! | My Twitter! | My Tumblr | Hit me up as Kalium on foonetic IRC!
- Contrast
- Necrotic Neurotic
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Re: Bad joke corner
Why didn't the chicken wear any pants?
Highlight here for answer: ---> Because his pecker's on his face.
Highlight here for answer: ---> Because his pecker's on his face.
- Ivic_Wulfe
- Viridis Spes Vulupe
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Re: Bad joke corner
What do vegetarians bring to a braai?
Crop en dop
Crop en dop
AND THEN THE CAGE COMES DOWN! The cage with the Japanese fighting spiders inside, your mother strikes a match off her forearm and tells you to dance in the front room for money... - Dylan Moran
- Franky
- The Bad Guy
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Re: Bad joke corner
How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
- Ivic_Wulfe
- Viridis Spes Vulupe
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Re: Bad joke corner
Because star wars may be trending soon
AND THEN THE CAGE COMES DOWN! The cage with the Japanese fighting spiders inside, your mother strikes a match off her forearm and tells you to dance in the front room for money... - Dylan Moran
Re: Bad joke corner
I hope I don't offend anyone with this one, but stereotypes exist for a reason.
Why are people from Bellville such bad drivers? Come over and CY (see why).
[I know explaining jokes is poor taste, but here's the context for anyone who didn't get it:
CY is the area code for Bellville on vehicle licence plates.]
Why are people from Bellville such bad drivers? Come over and CY (see why).
[I know explaining jokes is poor taste, but here's the context for anyone who didn't get it:
CY is the area code for Bellville on vehicle licence plates.]