Bad joke corner

Come in, relax, play with your friends! You can find something for everybody here. You can even find threads with no particular point at all, other than a good time! You can even start up some role playing.
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Aeowyn
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Re: Bad joke corner

#31

Post by Aeowyn »

HEY! so do I! therefore I AM CHUCK NORRIS!
I'm all that's left of a BIZARRE childhood
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Re: Bad joke corner

#32

Post by terror »

My BF crashed the car whilst listening to Adele last night.

He ended up rolling in the jeep.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#33

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

A german joke is no laughing matter
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
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Re: Bad joke corner

#34

Post by Venic Dragon »

[quote="Adagio"]Chuck Norris knows who Anoyomouse is...[/quote]

I've met Anoyomouse. Spent 2 nights at his place :P
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Re: Bad joke corner

#35

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

A ship carrying blue paint crashed into one carrying red.
the crew was Marooned
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
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Re: Bad joke corner

#36

Post by Contrast »

What did the whisk say to the egg?
"Pleased to beat you!"
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Re: Bad joke corner

#37

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

I thought I saw an Eye Doctor on an Alaskan Island, but it was just an Optical Aleutian
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#38

Post by Valerion »

Why are horses so slim?
Because they are on a stable diet.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#39

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was in tents.
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#40

Post by Grayhound »

I once broke up with a cross-eyed girl. I thought she was seeing someone else...
True love is real, sometimes it just happens in unexpected places.
I do what I must; not because i'm certain of my own sense of justice, but because i'm not certain of anyone elses.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#41

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

The barkeep says "Sorry, we don't serve faster than light neutrino's."
a neutrino walks into a bar
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#42

Post by Asbjorn-phoenix »

Why's the businessman's collar wet? 'cause the typist
Why's the beach wet? 'cause the seaweed
If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to fear,
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#43

Post by MattedFurr »

Jacob Zuma was invited to England to spend a day with the queen. Later that day he askes her; "Queen Elizabeth, how do you rule your land so well?" She then replies; "It's easy mister Zuma, all you have to do is surround yourself with intelligent people." "But how do you know if they are intelligent?" Asked Zuma. "With a simple riddle, let me show you." The Queen then calls for Elton John, "Sir Elton, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister. Who is it?" Elton thinks for a while and replies; "Thats easy, it's me."

After the visit was completed Zuma went back to South Africa and called for Julias Malema. "Julias, your mother and father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Julias thunks for a while and cant come up with an answer so he goes to the mall to investigate. In the mall he runs into Kurt Darren and asks him, "Kurt, your mother and you father have a child it's neither your brother nor your sister who is it?" Kurt the replies "Easy, it's me."

Julias then stomed into Zuma's office yelling he has the answer "What is the answer then?" Zuma asked. "It's Kurt Darren" replied Julias. Zuma then said; "No you idiot! It's Elton John!"
Must
Hug
Tails!
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Re: Bad joke corner

#44

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

A dyslexic man walks into a bra
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#45

Post by Chewbacca »

How do you cook a three minute egg without an egg times? You take the piano to the kitchen and you play the minute waltz three times!

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Re: Bad joke corner

#46

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

an infinite number of quantum physicists walk into a bar. THe first oreders one beer, the next a half beer, the next a quater. THe barista looks up, says "You"re all idiots" and pours two beers
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#47

Post by rusted hydra »

I have CDO. It's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order.
AS THEY SHOULD BE.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#48

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an alaskan island, but it turned out to be an Optical Aleutian
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#49

Post by Rakuen Growlithe »

Receptionist: A man is here to see you. He says he's shrinking.
Doctor: Just tell him to be a little patient.

----

Man1: I keep seeing purple sausages in front of my eyes.
Man2: Have you seen a doctor?
Man1: No, only purple sausages.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#50

Post by Helios_phi »

I went into my butcher yesterday and bet him R1000 that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf.
He said "the steaks are too high"
[REDACTED]
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Re: Bad joke corner

#51

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

Australians don't get married, they mate!
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
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Re: Bad joke corner

#52

Post by Valerion »

A truck driver is delivering two penguins to a new zoo when he runs over a nail in the road. He manages to flag down a passing motorist.

“Hey there,” says the truck driver. “I’ve got a flat, but I need to get these penguins to the zoo ASAP. Will you please take them while I fix this problem?”

“Of course, no worries,” says the motorist. “Happy to do it. I love penguins.”

So the two penguins crawl into the passenger seat, and off they go.

Well, it takes a little while, but the truck driver gets his tire fixed up. He drives into town headed for the zoo, but when he passes by the cinema, who should he see walking out the door but the motorist with the two penguins in tow.

“Woah there,” he calls out. “I thought I asked you to take them to the zoo!”

“Oh yes, you did,” says the motorist. “But we had a bit of change left over, so we decided to take in a movie, too!’
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Re: Bad joke corner

#53

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#54

Post by Asbjorn-phoenix »

.
Attachments
Screenshot_2013-07-06-18-30-01-1.jpg
If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to fear,
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#55

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

@ Asjborn: one, in some cases.

Why can't you lie to a 4D being

They see through Everything!
*badum-tss!*
"You never get over the desire to do stupid things. You simply have to overrule your stupid urges with an acquired sense of fear."
-Dr. Richard Weisiger

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Re: Bad joke corner

#56

Post by Contrast »

Why didn't the chicken wear any pants?

Highlight here for answer: ---> Because his pecker's on his face.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#57

Post by Ivic_Wulfe »

What do vegetarians bring to a braai?

Crop en dop
AND THEN THE CAGE COMES DOWN! The cage with the Japanese fighting spiders inside, your mother strikes a match off her forearm and tells you to dance in the front room for money... - Dylan Moran
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Re: Bad joke corner

#58

Post by Franky »

How did the hipster burn his tongue? He drank his coffee before it was cool.
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Re: Bad joke corner

#59

Post by Ivic_Wulfe »

Because star wars may be trending soon
20131022-090039-121-338.jpg
AND THEN THE CAGE COMES DOWN! The cage with the Japanese fighting spiders inside, your mother strikes a match off her forearm and tells you to dance in the front room for money... - Dylan Moran
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Re: Bad joke corner

#60

Post by Leeward »

I hope I don't offend anyone with this one, but stereotypes exist for a reason. :P

Why are people from Bellville such bad drivers? Come over and CY (see why).

[I know explaining jokes is poor taste, but here's the context for anyone who didn't get it:
CY is the area code for Bellville on vehicle licence plates.]
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