Can you actually, properly trust someone?

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noah-lausberg
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Can you actually, properly trust someone?

#1

Post by noah-lausberg »

This is something I've let my mind wonder over a lot. It's odd to me cause I do the whole (well, try to) "trust few, do wrong to none" method and it mostly works but over the recent months, my anxiety and the people I thought I could trust I have now considered gone to me.

This topic itself is not to point fingers at anyone at all but...can we ever trust anyone?

I believe in mutual respect. I trust you and vice versa. Basically meaning whatever we say to each other I'll keep secret although I have my excepts of this and that, etcetera, etcetera.

I've considered that overall we can but it depends on the type of trust you put on the person. I've been trusted with many gossip pieces about many furs and honestly, I want to actually ask around so I'm very cautious but also curious as to why people do it. Revenge? Traitor? What is it? Doing these things just makes me distance myself further than ever from a person.

Feel free to comment. I'm gonna be interested in this subject.

P.S. To those I trust; I still do trust you, but this itself made me think where I truly stand in the whole trust subject.
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Leeward
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Re: Can you actually, properly trust someone?

#2

Post by Leeward »

As far as I'm concerned trust is earned, not automatically granted and then retracted when broken. It's safer to assume that somebody is not trustworthy until proven otherwise. Sure a lot of people are trustworthy, but those who aren't have ruined it for everyone else. It also depends on what you trust them about; whether it's to keep a secret or to hold up their end of a deal are two completely different stories.
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Kievvu
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Re: Can you actually, properly trust someone?

#3

Post by Kievvu »

I have a person in my life that I got to know and trust and then they broke that trust quite badly and more than once. But they're still in my life and I still consider them a friend even though I don't trust them anymore and view them with suspicion. They do have the chance to regain my trust but it's up to them to put in the effort for that and prove to me that I can trust them again.
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Splicer-Fox
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Re: Can you actually, properly trust someone?

#4

Post by Splicer-Fox »

No... not even family.
I learned the hard many times.
My actual group of friends is tiny as a result, but at least i know those people will spare a kidney if needed, and I will do the same.
A great way to take off a persons mask is to start loaning money and seeing if you get money back OR excuses in return.

But the question is always, is it them of you?
I have noticed people like my brother are constantly complaining about how people betray him.
People like that seem to only be in a group until he drops his mask and does something unexpected and stupid.
But he sees no problem with it. or he was forced to do it, or nobody understands why he had to do it. (What ever mental gymnastics )

"I did not hurt you! you hurt me!
you are the traitor!
i will tell everybody what you made me do!
a real friend/family would have forgiven me every time!
I will be better, I wont do it again I promise!
bla bla bla bla!"
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Ventus Fall
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Re: Can you actually, properly trust someone?

#5

Post by Ventus Fall »

I got to agree with Leeward, Kievvu, and Splicer-Fox here.

For me, from the start you -as a stranger- have my respect, at least a basic level of it. Meaning I treat you with respect, kind manners, etc. In exchange I expect the same. Don't need to be friends, don't need anything else, but at the very least to treat each other with respect. You can decide to break that respect or keep it.
Trust is something gained, and can increase the respect, but doesn't have to.

Long story short, everyone has my respect (at least what I find comes with the minimum of basic mannerisms and such) from the start. Every relationship with anyone starts equally to me, but trust is earned based on one's actions. Afterall, actions speak louder than words.
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