Long distance relationships?

[TimbaWhitepaws]

no. 5 - Azrael think's it's a futile exercise and doomed from the beginning. Find somefur in real life.

Vilkacis.

[TimbaWhitepaws]

.. no. 4...

[Hargan]

Had a few long distance relationships online.

All fell apart.

So... can i choose number 3 multiple times?

[anoyomouse]

yes, i mean no ...

well, i had a couple fall apart, till i found my wolf, hopefiully he'll get his passport soon (damn US government)

[elysium]

Well... I'm in one (only really just started). I guess you could say that I gave up on relationships for a while, they never worked. Then, I became suicidal, for a period. And, just as I was truly ready to end it all, my penguin came. She was (and still is) the only one who truly understands me and vice-versa.
We're keeping it working quite simply:
1. Talking often. I send her at least 1 message every day. Unfortunately, we can't really find a proper way to talk... (Mostly due to her not having a cellphone. Maybe she should get Skype...)
2. Being open. I've told her everything. When I'm depressed or whatever, she's the first to know. Also told her certain more personal things... (Same applies the other way)
3. We live by the philosophy that we will meet one day. We're both doing everything we can to ensure this. (Hopefully I can take a gap year and fly up to Iowa to meet her in 2011)
4. We haven't told our parents. After all, we're fairly young (I'm 16, she's 15), and we're pretty damn sure that our parents would disagree with this...
5. For physical contact (apparently a "necessity" in a relationship), I have my penguin plushie.

[RankHusky]

Long distance relationships just suck. I've known friends who have had one of them and they get burned badly or everything around them gets messed up. So I try to avoid it.

I rather try local.... though then again when most of the community (not furs only but guys too) want a physical relationship (including yours truly at times)... It's better to be alone sometimes if you can't find someone that likes you more than that you are attracting, a piece of ass, and sex...

Raz. You should make the polls a common event on the forum, if you have the time. They're thought-provoking at times. And revealing to what the others in the community are thinking.

[vopisca]

The distance is hard, trying, and unbelievably frustrating. It can drive you mad and make your head hurt--simple solution to things like tiny insecurities get blown way out of proportion, things are misinterpreted.. Especially so if you are an affectionate person.

But every step on this broken road that got me to where I am now, heading towards a life with Hramn, my loving wolf.. It is worth every tear, every bit of sweat, and every bit of blood mixed in along the way. He is my happiness, touched my heart and my being in ways that I cannot begin to describe. Dare I say soulmate? ;D

I know we irritate the crap out of each other sometimes, and both can be quite difficult, but it is working for us and our love is what binds it all together. We'll get to where we need to be eventually, and are both working towards that end goal of being together for the long run.

What works for us, will not necessarily work for others. LD's are not easy, and are truly a painful experience that requires an immense amount of dedication, time, effort and trust. Not something to be taken lightly, that's for sure. It is a precious investment, just remember to be as realistic as possible.

[Hramnick]

*Curls up around the little squirrel and licks her until she's damp all over.* My sentiments exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself. Well written, my love.

[anoyomouse]

Hehe, i know the feeling

hope you two skype and video chat, text is one thing, but the voice is 100% better

At least you two are going to see each other pretty soon, and then you can at least share that long hug you've always needed.

Just remember it's probably going to be a lot harder AFTER you've met and gone away, because then you really know what you're missing

Just have to say, good luck, and hope it works out

[DesertYote]

I've tried it several times, doesn't seem to work out in the end. Distance eventually gets the better of the situation. That...and the other half tends to sleep around. Not cool, IMO.

'Yote

[vopisca]

We have a closed relationship and try to be as honest and open about -everything- which helps. We are friends first. We knew what we were getting into, it is gunna continue to hurt, we will still bicker and snap and bark at each other, but we love each other and it never goes to far--we respect and care about each other way too much for it to dip into an unhealthy situation.

As for those inclined to stray--A LD is not for you, end point. If you are even attracted to wild spirits unable to stick to an agreement--The LD will fail. You get what you put into it, and it truly is an input/export system but both parties must be working on it.

It is a dance of balance, on a bed of nails--take the wrong step, can your partner reach out and save you? It is a rough game of love, but we make due. We practice to even out our steps and work hard to support each other; to keep the balance equal.

And LDs are certainly not for the light of heart. Like I said before, some of the pain I experience during this time is some of the most intense relationship sort of grief I have ever endured--but I am stronger because of that little word, endurance. I have not now and will not ever buckle. I will never just walk away without just cause. I will not close off and refuse to acknowledge that my heart lie in the paws of a wolf across the great blue deep.

[DesertYote]

Well said, but unfortunately in my experience, I have been through a much different process. Not to say that you or anyone else haven't been through similar...just that because of my experiences I don't plan on getting involved in any LD relationships anymore.

'Yote

[Ivic_Wulfe]

This is an...interesting page and being in a relationship where not having seen my vixen for a month had me literally screaming in rage yet she was about 35km away... I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle the pressures of years...

This topic had been discussed a lot and its a difficult one. Some days I feel that if it were to happen that I'd try to find other people and then on the other paw I think...wait a sec...wtf am I thinking...I want to be with her forever dammit. So in the end I told her that if she were to leave...and seeing as we'd agreed on having an open relationship I made it known that I wouldn't actually call myself single...if someone took interest in me then they'd have to make the first steps...and well the way that I network and go out...its interesting to note that I probably won't find anyone.

[Tigris Astartes]

I think being in a long distance relationship is all fine and well as long as you eventually get to meet and spend time with the one you love. I have had good and bad experiences with long distance. But most of the time it was not because of distance that the relationship fell apart.

[Ryall]

Whoa... lottsa reading dunno if I can cope with it all Um... can't say i've ever been or want to be in a romantic long distance relationship, but I do have quite a few oversees friends I keep in contact with!

[Fii]

Fell apart and it was all very messy and horrible.

Yet I didnt actually learn anything as I am currently thinking of entering a new one (though it doesnt really count as she could be moving here soon )

[Stormwolf]

Ooh, no way. Long distance does NOT work for me. I need to be able to read the person physically. A person on paper will always remain paper until you are actually together for an extended period of time... I've tried having long distance relationships everything from a different city to a different continent. NONE of them worked, and it was largely because the distance made our communication and practical affection crumble. It's just stressful to try and see each other often enough to grow together. I need someone I can go adventuring with, who will kiss my bruises better, who I can push down the street in a shopping trolley in the middle of the night laughing like an idiot.

I also find it's easier to fool yourself with distance. You can pretend everything is ok when it's not, while if things are really awkward and you are forced to look the other person in the eyes, things are much more realistic and you can opt out a lot sooner, saving everyone a lot of heartache, energy, money and time. I've wasted MORE than enough of all of those before, thanks!

[Tigris Astartes]

Ooh, no way. Long distance does NOT work for me. I need to be able to read the person physically. A person on paper will always remain paper until you are actually together for an extended period of time... I've tried having long distance relationships everything from a different city to a different continent. NONE of them worked, and it was largely because the distance made our communication and practical affection crumble. It's just stressful to try and see each other often enough to grow together. I need someone I can go adventuring with, who will kiss my bruises better, who I can push down the street in a shopping trolley in the middle of the night laughing like an idiot.

I also find it's easier to fool yourself with distance. You can pretend everything is ok when it's not, while if things are really awkward and you are forced to look the other person in the eyes, things are much more realistic and you can opt out a lot sooner, saving everyone a lot of heartache, energy, money and time. I've wasted MORE than enough of all of those before, thanks!

Ah yes this is so so true. But if the person is going to move to a closer location it can sometimes workout, I have seen this happen often. :3