The heap of words in Honin's head

Have a flair for poetry, stories, or even write songs? Need some advice or looking for a beta-reader? This is the place for you!

Moderator: Erdwolf_TVL

Post Reply
User avatar
Honin
Posts: 107
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 9:40 pm
Gender: Male
Sexual preference: Bi-mostly gay
Species: Some sort of noodle
Region: Gauteng
Location: Pretoria, Centurion

The heap of words in Honin's head

#1

Post by Honin »

Um... ok... so I is be writing "hawkward" poetry... any criticism is good criticism... even the odd flying rock should be fun...
(most of these I originally posted on DA but I really want to know what you guys think of them)


Wasteland

The burning light of day makes the buildings crumble.
Stones, spent past making elephants stumble.
The litter of the dreams the wisdoms we heed.
The bars that cage the new breed.

The wasted earth
Stolen worth, taken by the burning sun.
Hole heatedly yearning
The edges upturning
Reaching for the moisture now gone


The fool and the thief

The fool and the thief
Whenever they meet
A rush of things exchanging hands
In the pale light of the street

The thief he stole
He stole for good
He stole for life
he stole for food

The fool he did
Feed the thief
He bought the goods he sold once more
Those thieved from dreaming to settle the score

One night a thought was slit
Blood strained gold shone barely lit
The thief got away but fools body stayed


Thats it for now :D
User avatar
Raven Song
Stealer of Time
Posts: 7039
Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 8:56 pm
Gender: Does it matter?
Sexual preference: Other
Species: Shapeshifting Anubian
Region: Other
Location: Londonium ONce more...
Contact:

Re: The heap of words in Honin's head

#2

Post by Raven Song »

i like that fool and thief one :)
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. Pablo Picasso
User avatar
Asbjorn-phoenix
Papa Bear
Posts: 2740
Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2012 8:55 pm
Gender: Male
Sexual preference: Gay
Species: FireBear - Bear Phoenix hybrid
Region: Gauteng
Location: Centurion

Re: The heap of words in Honin's head

#3

Post by Asbjorn-phoenix »

I like the Waste Land one, dark, I like dark.
The fool is also good a heavy topic with a slightly light spin nice contrast. On this not you should check out the following album if you have not heard it before "Nick Cage and the bad seeds - Murder Ballads". Every song revolves around a murder.
If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to fear,
if you've something to hide you shouldn't be here.
User avatar
Honin
Posts: 107
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 9:40 pm
Gender: Male
Sexual preference: Bi-mostly gay
Species: Some sort of noodle
Region: Gauteng
Location: Pretoria, Centurion

Re: The heap of words in Honin's head

#4

Post by Honin »

Sounds grimly appetizing... Will do... thanks for reading guys :)
User avatar
Honin
Posts: 107
Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2014 9:40 pm
Gender: Male
Sexual preference: Bi-mostly gay
Species: Some sort of noodle
Region: Gauteng
Location: Pretoria, Centurion

Re: The heap of words in Honin's head

#5

Post by Honin »

Ok. So another yet smallish poem

What a waste when dreams contradict reality
And what is another dead human but a casualty
You weave these dreams, I'm in love it seems
But still I wake too find empty arms
Post Reply