Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I know this isn't exactly the best place to post this, but I didn't want to put it in V&S where only members can read it. I specifically wanted to go public because people I've never heard of contacted me out of the blue about my last post (viewtopic.php?f=13&t=4768) so I wanted them to be able to read the long overdue follow-up.
Yes, I'm aware that it's not just the furry fandom that has bad apples, it's humanity as a whole. That doesn't invalidate the fact that due to its appeal to younger audiences the fandom is a convenient medium for predators. This is real, and it has happened; there's nothing you can do about it. The damage has been done, it's too late. The furry fandom's reputation has been tainted forever. Chanting #NotAllFurries and taking it personally when people bring it up just makes you look like an imbecile in denial. It's like trying to reclaim the swastika for its original meaning: you'll never pull it off because literally everyone associates it with the Nazi regime (inb4 Nazi furs).
I'm also aware that furries appear to have a higher than average proportion of people with mental health issues, and that this is largely due to furries being very open about themselves, unlike the general population, because society has put stigmas on everything that is not the (statistical) norm. But here's what irks me: it's great to empower yourself by declaring that your quirks are part of who you are, but it's something else entirely to wear it like a badge of honour and let it define your entire identity. That's what makes furries so groan inducing, to me at least.
Just for the record, the only one who was perceptive enough to realise/guess that something was off with me without knowing the context for it was Animew. He is a hell of a lot wiser than he likes to appear. I tip my hat to you kitty, you were spot on in everything you said.
Anyway, none of this matters, because I still love the concept of furry, and probably always will. I just don't have the drive to search the fandom for a feeling of belonging any more. Maybe because I got hurt by caring too much, I don't know.
I apologise for all the outbursts and anger I've expressed towards undeserving bystanders. The reasons have nothing to do with you guys, so I am sincerely sorry that I subjected you to them.
To make my intentions perfectly clear: this is not a "I'm leaving ZAFur furevar!" but a "I don't feel like making an effort any more." I'm leaving the door open to become a regular user here again at some point, but honestly I don't see that happening, so don't count on my activity being any more than occasional. I'm no longer interested in engaging with the community just for the sake of it.
However, I'll honour my commitment and keep The Furnace burning. I started something I believe could be worthwhile with a little effort, and I intend to see it through. Once the dust has settled I'll poke the ashes for embers and throw on some fuel.
I also intend to re-open my little shop Leeworks Gear once I have a proper workshop, which will only be in January when we move into our new place. I simply don't have to room to lay out my tools and sewing machine right now.
About 2 months ago, my brother died of pancreatic cancer. I'll spare you the details, in fact I don't really want to share them here, so let me just say that it was very painful, tragically ironic, and unleashed some rather gargantuan closet skeletons.
I've also just finished going through a rather intense 6-month long medical weight loss programme. Being a bit of a foodie and a hedonist when it comes to the simple pleasures in life, this was torture. But it's over now, and 20 fewer kilograms later I feel great. Now onto the real challenge: keeping the weight off.
I'm also nearing the end of the process of weaning myself off antidepressants, which as some of you may know is a roller coaster ride so crazy it might even scare Franky (whom by the way I forgot to mention in my last post, sorry dude).
I've come to a lot of realisations about myself recently. I've taken some distance from the internet in general, and it has done me a lot of good reconnecting with reality. I intend to keep it that way, for now at least.
In other news, yesterday was me and my partner's 7th anniversary. I made a leap of faith, and proposed... he said yes.
That's all for now. See you guys around, I guess. You know where to find me.
Yes, I'm aware that it's not just the furry fandom that has bad apples, it's humanity as a whole. That doesn't invalidate the fact that due to its appeal to younger audiences the fandom is a convenient medium for predators. This is real, and it has happened; there's nothing you can do about it. The damage has been done, it's too late. The furry fandom's reputation has been tainted forever. Chanting #NotAllFurries and taking it personally when people bring it up just makes you look like an imbecile in denial. It's like trying to reclaim the swastika for its original meaning: you'll never pull it off because literally everyone associates it with the Nazi regime (inb4 Nazi furs).
I'm also aware that furries appear to have a higher than average proportion of people with mental health issues, and that this is largely due to furries being very open about themselves, unlike the general population, because society has put stigmas on everything that is not the (statistical) norm. But here's what irks me: it's great to empower yourself by declaring that your quirks are part of who you are, but it's something else entirely to wear it like a badge of honour and let it define your entire identity. That's what makes furries so groan inducing, to me at least.
Just for the record, the only one who was perceptive enough to realise/guess that something was off with me without knowing the context for it was Animew. He is a hell of a lot wiser than he likes to appear. I tip my hat to you kitty, you were spot on in everything you said.
Anyway, none of this matters, because I still love the concept of furry, and probably always will. I just don't have the drive to search the fandom for a feeling of belonging any more. Maybe because I got hurt by caring too much, I don't know.
I apologise for all the outbursts and anger I've expressed towards undeserving bystanders. The reasons have nothing to do with you guys, so I am sincerely sorry that I subjected you to them.
To make my intentions perfectly clear: this is not a "I'm leaving ZAFur furevar!" but a "I don't feel like making an effort any more." I'm leaving the door open to become a regular user here again at some point, but honestly I don't see that happening, so don't count on my activity being any more than occasional. I'm no longer interested in engaging with the community just for the sake of it.
However, I'll honour my commitment and keep The Furnace burning. I started something I believe could be worthwhile with a little effort, and I intend to see it through. Once the dust has settled I'll poke the ashes for embers and throw on some fuel.
I also intend to re-open my little shop Leeworks Gear once I have a proper workshop, which will only be in January when we move into our new place. I simply don't have to room to lay out my tools and sewing machine right now.
About 2 months ago, my brother died of pancreatic cancer. I'll spare you the details, in fact I don't really want to share them here, so let me just say that it was very painful, tragically ironic, and unleashed some rather gargantuan closet skeletons.
I've also just finished going through a rather intense 6-month long medical weight loss programme. Being a bit of a foodie and a hedonist when it comes to the simple pleasures in life, this was torture. But it's over now, and 20 fewer kilograms later I feel great. Now onto the real challenge: keeping the weight off.
I'm also nearing the end of the process of weaning myself off antidepressants, which as some of you may know is a roller coaster ride so crazy it might even scare Franky (whom by the way I forgot to mention in my last post, sorry dude).
I've come to a lot of realisations about myself recently. I've taken some distance from the internet in general, and it has done me a lot of good reconnecting with reality. I intend to keep it that way, for now at least.
In other news, yesterday was me and my partner's 7th anniversary. I made a leap of faith, and proposed... he said yes.
That's all for now. See you guys around, I guess. You know where to find me.
- Sev
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I honestly held my breath while you were typing out his response, last night.
So happy for you, Lee. :3
So happy for you, Lee. :3
- Raven Song
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Leewards getting married!!!!! That is awesome!!!! I demand the right to crash the wedding!!!!
It's been a tough while for you Lee and all I can say is you're always welcome here. The Furnace has been quiet without you, will be nice to have you back!
Good Luck Lee, and again, congrats!
Leewards getting married!!!!! That is awesome!!!! I demand the right to crash the wedding!!!!
It's been a tough while for you Lee and all I can say is you're always welcome here. The Furnace has been quiet without you, will be nice to have you back!
Good Luck Lee, and again, congrats!
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. Pablo Picasso
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I’m coming back, But I am still right - is it?
Nobody really thinks that all priests(furries) are paedophiles.
Nobody who is a real Trekkie(furry) abandons their obsession just because they don’t like the other people who happen to like the same thing.
That’s a scapegoat.
You want something from us?
And it was not fellowship or culture?
What do you want form us?
Just come back.
You don’t need to say sorry or justify yourself.
Just come back and Start over.
Congrats on the marriage!
Nobody really thinks that all priests(furries) are paedophiles.
Nobody who is a real Trekkie(furry) abandons their obsession just because they don’t like the other people who happen to like the same thing.
That’s a scapegoat.
You want something from us?
And it was not fellowship or culture?
What do you want form us?
Just come back.
You don’t need to say sorry or justify yourself.
Just come back and Start over.
Congrats on the marriage!
- Sev
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Wow, that was unnecessarily sanctimonious.Splicer-Fox wrote:I’m coming back, But I am still right - is it?
Nobody really thinks that all priests(furries) are pedophiles.
Nobody who is a real Trekkie(furry) abandons their obsession just because they don’t like the other people who happen to like the same thing.
That’s a scapegoat.
Do you want something from us?
And it was not fellowship or culture?
What do you want from us?
I think that you can forgive Lee speaking so bluntly, on account of what she was dealing with.
In any case, she wasn't wrong: the joke about lawyers also applies to furries, I'm afraid.
Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
You'll have to be more specific, there are a metric fuck ton of lawyer jokes... I would know, I'm engaged to one (well, an almost-lawyer).Sev wrote:In any case, she wasn't wrong: the joke about lawyers also applies to furries, I'm afraid.
@Splicer, that's rich coming from the guy who literally compared me to Hitler for starting a forum. What did I expect though... I guess I'll take what I can get, thanks man.
- Sev
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Leeward wrote:You'll have to be more specific, there are a metric fuck ton of lawyer jokes...Sev wrote:In any case, she wasn't wrong: the joke about lawyers also applies to furries, I'm afraid.
90% of Lawyers Make the Rest Look Bad
That must be really nice to be able to say.Leeward wrote:I would know, I'm engaged to one (well, an almost-lawyer).
- Valerion
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Welcome back, and congratulations
- Rakuen Growlithe
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
What are you talking about? I don't doubt that there have been some unsavoury characters but you make it sound like a major issue rather than a small one that every fandom has. And how have they tainted furry's reputation? In whose opinion. This is the first I've heard about predators tainting the fandom's reputation. There are certainly other things that don't help its reputation but nothing like you're saying.Leeward wrote:That doesn't invalidate the fact that due to its appeal to younger audiences the fandom is a convenient medium for predators. This is real, and it has happened; there's nothing you can do about it. The damage has been done, it's too late. The furry fandom's reputation has been tainted forever.
On your non-furry news, I am sorry to hear that and congratulations respectively.
"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Seriously? I'm not going to google "furry child rape" just to prove a point but it's literally all over the internet.Rakuen Growlithe wrote:What are you talking about? I don't doubt that there have been some unsavoury characters but you make it sound like a major issue rather than a small one that every fandom has. And how have they tainted furry's reputation? In whose opinion. This is the first I've heard about predators tainting the fandom's reputation. There are certainly other things that don't help its reputation but nothing like you're saying.
- Rakuen Growlithe
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
One person did it? There's been at least three furry murderers and one attempted murder. None of that has tainted the fandom's reputation.
"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
- Raven Song
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
it has for me now... I wanted to be the first...
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. Pablo Picasso
- Rakuen Growlithe
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Well I'm pretty sure there were three. Maybe you'll get lucky and they were all attempted murders and/or only the victims were furs.
"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
- Raven Song
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Having worked with children and lazy british people my future career will be fursuit mass murderer...
Also this is why Leeward came back - for my ranting about murder missed you Lee
Also this is why Leeward came back - for my ranting about murder missed you Lee
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. Pablo Picasso
- Trace
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I'm sorry to hear about your brother, Leeward.
But I'm happy to have you back, and I'm ecstatic to hear about your engagement. Congratulations, and all of the best to both of you.
But I'm happy to have you back, and I'm ecstatic to hear about your engagement. Congratulations, and all of the best to both of you.
"I change shapes just to hide in this place, but I'm still, I'm still an animal" -Miike Snow, 'Animal'
"Where there's life, there's hope."-Terence
"Where there's life, there's hope."-Terence
- Sev
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I'm pretty sure that you were around for that whole reverse pedophile predator thing that Greyhound tried to expose.Rakuen Growlithe wrote:What are you talking about? I don't doubt that there have been some unsavoury characters but you make it sound like a major issue rather than a small one that every fandom has. And how have they tainted furry's reputation? In whose opinion. This is the first I've heard about predators tainting the fandom's reputation. There are certainly other things that don't help its reputation but nothing like you're saying.Leeward wrote:That doesn't invalidate the fact that due to its appeal to younger audiences the fandom is a convenient medium for predators. This is real, and it has happened; there's nothing you can do about it. The damage has been done, it's too late. The furry fandom's reputation has been tainted forever.
On your non-furry news, I am sorry to hear that and congratulations respectively.
Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Well I certainly didn't return for Rakuen's picking apart of everything I say like I'm on the witness stand... I'm not going to indulge him this time, I'll let others do that because he's literally the only person who doesn't believe me on this, so either we're all wrong or he's in denial and/or living under a rock.RavenSong wrote:Also this is why Leeward came back - for my ranting about murder
- Rakuen Growlithe
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
You don't get to just have everything you say assumed to be true. It's no fun if you don't play but if Sev is right about what you're referencing, I don't see how an isolated event that I doubt is even known about by anyone not involved (I only know about it because it became part of other forum drama) can possibly have influenced the fandom's reputation.
"If all mankind minus one, were of one opinion, and only one person were of the contrary opinion, mankind would be no more justified in silencing that one person, than he, if he had the power, would be justified in silencing mankind."
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
~John Stuart Mill~
“Give me the liberty to know, to utter, and to argue freely according to conscience, above all liberties.”
~John Milton~
Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
oh hey lee's back! OwO/ ey gurl good to see you again <w< totes boring here without you.
AND NOW: back to our kitchens.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ meh, did the fandom ever really have such a great reputation to begin with? with all the debauchery people think furs get up to, "pedo" is hardly the worst label they can stick on us. Owo and it’s by no means new. I find the label “terrorist” much more surprising… then again, not really considering what I get up to.Leeward wrote:The furry fandom's reputation has been tainted forever.
lol dude it’s like noticing a huge zit on the ass of your favorite super model, just because you don’t mind the zit doesn’t mean others don’t nor does that mean that everyone was aware of the zit from the start. lee is cringing at the zit bra, no amount of telling her that the other but cheek is zit free or that zits are not the end of the world is going to stop her cringing at the zit, don’t take it personally.Rakuen Growlithe wrote:And how have they tainted furry's reputation?
\(>w<)/ lies!Leeward wrote:He is a hell of a lot wiser than he likes to appear.
aaaaaaaand that's the important part. you need to get what YOU want out of the fandom, not what you think is on offer. the fandom is a source of different things for different people. i think everyone goes through the "oh my holy fuzzy fuck! WTF is wrong with these people! this is not what i signed up for!" phase. Ծ_Ծ trust me... even a perverse nutburger like me sometimes gets an overdose of UGH from the fandom and its people.Leeward wrote:Anyway, none of this matters, because I still love the concept of furry, and probably always will
aw damn lee, i'm truly sorry for your loss.Leeward wrote:About 2 months a...
Owo\ but... where did you get the 20kg to lose? you looked to be a healthy weight for your height... <w< unless my recreational stalking only turned up out dated pictures or something.Leeward wrote:medical weight loss programme.
^w^ grats gurl!Leeward wrote: *is getting married*
AND NOW: back to our kitchens.
Duck face? i thought they were all just making fart noises when posing for pictures...
- Valerion
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Let's move on here, please. Leeward is back and I am glad she's back. This is really old drama, no need to beat this particular horse.
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
A quarrel with Rakuen on the same day... I think we can safely rule out any imposter posing as Lee. This is the real one, alright.
Welcome back, Lee! I have already congratulated you privately, but nonetheless, your engagement is wonderful news. I wish you and your mate all the best for the beautiful future to come.
Welcome back, Lee! I have already congratulated you privately, but nonetheless, your engagement is wonderful news. I wish you and your mate all the best for the beautiful future to come.
Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I'm not assuming anything here, I'm making an observation and literally nobody disagrees with me, except you. You can't quantify validity on something subjective like opinion or perception. You disagree because it doesn't bother you, but that doesn't mean it doesn't bother others. Like the supermodel ass zit analogy.Rakuen Growlithe wrote:You don't get to just have everything you say assumed to be true.
Arguing with you is like wrestling with a pig in mud: after a while, you realise that you're filthy, exhausted, frustrated, got absolutely nowhere, and that the pig was having fun all along. And the pig isn't going to stop, so you have to be the mature one and put an end to it. I'm not falling into that cycle again. Moving on.It's no fun if you don't play
I may have been a "healthy" weight for my height according to my BMI, but I was weak, had no endurance, was starting to get pre-diabetic symptoms and was unhappy with my body image, so something had to be done. I'm very happy with the results and am going to do my best to get fit again.Owo\ but... where did you get the 20kg to lose? you looked to be a healthy weight for your height... <w< unless my recreational stalking only turned up out dated pictures or something.
- Ryall
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Welcome back Lee! I sure do know where you.Leeward wrote:...
In other news, yesterday was me and my partner's 7th anniversary. I made a leap of faith, and proposed... he said yes.
That's all for now. See you guys around, I guess. You know where to find me.
Oh, my, God: there's going to be a wedding for real this time! She announced her engagement to all of us so that she could invite us all too!
Now boys and girls, this is a furry wedding, which means you need to dress appropriately: boys will be expected to wear suits, shirts, ties, and closed shoes; girls will be expected to wear a gown or dress, and heels; and everyone will be expected to wear ears and tails! If you have a fursuit head and gloves, even better. Keep it clean though: I don't want to see any butt-plug tails.
Lee, don't worry, I have got you covered! Everyone, I will send out a full itinerary for the big day as soon as I am able, as well as seating arrangements. Leeward, her beloved, their families, Sev, Animew, Randall and Tetsudra can sit at the head table. ZAFur admins, you will be seated at the table in the foyer outside. Save a seat for me admins: I might be joining you depending on how this all plays out.
Some of you have already started asking me about a gift register. I am way ahead of you: gift register's for Leewards wedding can now be found on https://www.yuppiechef.com/registry/Leewardwd and on http://bad-dragon.com//giftsr/Leewardwd!
I have not yet thought of suggestions as to what us furries will throw as confetti but so far I am thinking con-badges, key chains, and other furry paraphernalia! Post here if you guys and gals have any suggestions!
And Lee, don't worry, I have already started booking only the most esteemed guest-speakers for this auspicious occasion! The real creme of the crop!
Leopard Man
and Tiger Man!
I have heard rumors that both of them are in fact dead, which would explain the delay in email correspondence, but I will need more time to be able to confirm or deny these allegations.
Lee I am so excited! Your parents (or can I call them furents?) are going to be thrilled!
I have blocked out my calendar, and am counting down the days as I am sure every fur on this forum is. Furs from Gauteng and other provinces, please email me if you require financial assistance with travel costs to the Western Cape for the wedding! Definitely not to be missed - a once in a life time spectacle!
xoxo
Ryall
Hahaha!
- Erdwolf_TVL
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Hey, I'm running around so hope I'm reading this right.
@leeward, welcome back and congratulations!
@leeward, welcome back and congratulations!
Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
Hahahahaha thanks Ryall, but now that you've chimed in, I feel I have to clarify that this is indeed not a prank, we are engaged for real, not just our characters in a game this time.
@ Everyone else, thank you!
@ Everyone else, thank you!
- Raven Song
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Re: Thoughts on the furry fandom 2.0... and an explanation
I have an issue with the dress code as laid out by master of ceremonies Ryall... The only gown I own is a night gown in the form of a minion...
Is this considered appropriate attire for your wedding????
Is this considered appropriate attire for your wedding????
Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. Pablo Picasso