What is furry to you?

[Hunterwolf]

This is a question I am fascinated by! What IS furrydom to YOU! Why are you the fur you are and what does it mean? Why did you choose that phenotype?

Some furs are but roleplaying characters, others are spirit guides, yet others delve deeper into our psyches!

Mine...mine is a journey, an evolution, a sense of comfort and being, a feeling of being more than human.

From my humble begins as a timber wolf to my descent into darkness to my rise as a demonwolf to the abrupt, stunning and most welcome appearance of my inner colt, being a fur is more than just an alternate character online or a familiarity to a certain animal! It has become something ingrained in who and what I am.

It is an evolution of human to...more than human. A journey that has challenged me, hurt me, taught me and brought me insight and knowledge beyond that which I would have acquired had furry not come into my life!

Or rather, it always WAS there!! Furry...furry was just the catalyst to the conscious journey I undertook when wolf made himself known to me!

Perhaps its just a desire to put my life, my psyche into furry perspective so I can fool myself into believing that I'm more than human. It is a sane and relevant argument, but one that I can safely dismiss.

Too much has happened, too much life experience, knowledge, understanding and learning has come to pass. The exciting thing is, my evolution has not ended! It continues, expands, and slowly I learn more about who I am, and what furry has given me...

...mentally, emotionally, psychologically...hell...even physically, though to a lesser extent.

I am colt, demon and wolf...not in that order AND in that order...for all three are me, and I am them! Sometimes one has more influence than the others. Othertimes all are on equal ground. But I would not be if one of those were gone.

At the beginning, when dragons and wolves were my passion, when I wrote of them, dreamt of them, and pondered which I would choose were I given the choice of only one.

Wolf.

In darkness of a torturous time I became a demon, shed my wolf (or so I thought) and became a darker being.

In that darkness I learnt much of myself, and of the inner evil that I carry. I learned that the wolf was never gone...it was merely resting. Wolf and demon are my strength...when the wolf, the dominant aspect of my furryness, is down and out, resting, healing, the demon gives me the strength I need...though his desires are darker.

And then, the colt...born of a vivid dream of crystal clear water, polished river stones, unblemised azure sky...and a frisky colt frolicking in the water, splashing, jumping, bucking, running, and giving vent to everything childlike and fun.

My inner child...my love of games and anime and toys. My hopes and dreams and aspirations.

Ironically, this gentle side of me has proven to possess far more strenght, far more influence, than I'd given him credit for. Far more than even wolf and demon could amass!

Why all of this? Tonight...my furryness was rekindled! Renewed. Time rewound to when I first discoved the notion of FURRY! And with that rekindling came the thrill and excitment of that time, several years past in an office in London, England.

Razor...the first fur I met in my newborn stumblings into furrydom.

Thanks Raz ^.^ For holding my paw and guiding me into this fandom, into this way of life.

I urge any who read this to search within and find the reason for their furryness! Why you are what you choose to be...or why it has chosen you. You may be surprsied at what you learn!

And lastly, thanks for taking the time to wade through all this psuedo psychoanalysis ^.^

[anoyomouse]

For me furry is just ... me

i found the nickname when i was 10, attempting to spell anonymous when stumbling into irc for the first time is bad mmmmkay?

then i went around squecking everyone, and well the nick stuck
Later when i found furry, i could relate completely to a mouse, so yeah, that's what i've always been and always will be

Guess i like the idea of big ears, long front teeths, and the slim long tail

[Keita Haruka]

Hehe. For me it is complicated and very simple all at once. For all the reasons I could name for being furry...what it all comes down to is that this is who I am. There was not a thing about "becoming furry". Furry was always there but always hidden and denied. Sometimes thinking about why brings to light new reasons, or elevates old reasons to new prominence. *shrugs*

First of all...what is furry to me? To answer that, you must first know who I am. There are several main aspects to me that define me as a person, my personality and my spirituality. Furry is relevant to both as it permeates my whole existence. Central to that is the concept of duality and unity. Yin and Yang, in short. What this means to me is that two opposite things, whether that is two people, two objects, two ideas...though individuals in their own rights, nevertheless are connected in unity. It also means that everything operates on a sliding scale because nothing is ever purely black or white. This idea is the central fact of my being and is the single factor that makes things make sense to me.

So how is this relevant to being furry? Well...I noticed that same "duality" about my own personality. As gentle and caring and loving as I am...just as outright violent, calous and vicious can I be. There's an extremely thin line between the extremes. I've looked deep into the darkest parts of myself..and it's pretty damn dark...dark enough to frighten me. I fought that part of me until I realised that one cannot exist without the other. You can never be a whole person if you deny a part of yourself. But I looked around me and saw that very few other people shared that duality of spirit, that darkness, wildness, that intensity of feeling that I experienced in both aspects, gentle and violent. So I concluded that I was crazy. Crazy for feeling so wolfish.

Why wolfish? Well...when I was a small pup, I was visited by a wolf. A big, black, powerful wolf with glowing green eyes that came to me in the night and stood there watching me. I was terrified of him at the time and from that moment, I denied the wolf in me, what at that time I saw as the dark bits. What he was, I don't know. I can't be sure whether he was a dream, a hallucination, a vision or whether he was really there. I don't even know whether he was me or an entirely seperate entity...but I cannot deny the impact he had on me. A lot of stuff happened in my life that made me deny him even more, from being raped as a kid, to family problems, to spiritual issues. What finally happened is that there came a time when I realised that all the unhappiness in my life was due to self-denial, from denying the duality of my nature, denying that I was gay, denying that Christianity just didn't feel right...and denying my own desires and will. Oddly enough...simply admitting that to myself opened all kinds of hidden inner doors, and I became aware once again of that "inner wolf".

Acknowledging my inner wolf changed me a great deal. Previously, I saw what I felt as wrong, as crazy...but with accepting wolf...I've come to know what to expect from myself. It's explained my nature, why I care so intensely for some people, but could quite happily hurt and destroy others without a second thought. It is simply "thinking" and "feeling" in terms of wolf. My inner workings are really very simple...and sometimes the interaction between my "human" intelligence and those wolfish "instincts" can lead to interesting results.

I don't really know why I feel so wolfish. I wouldn't go so far as to say I have an animal soul. That's simply not the case. But perhaps my spirit did at one time exist as a wolf...or it may simply be that that is just the way I am. Or it could be that, in trying to cope with stuff, I reached too deeply into the more primitive "layers" of my psyche and made sense of that by calling it wolf. Who knows? Wolfy I am, and very happy to be. In finding wolfy and in embaring on my spiritual path, I find that I'm a more complete person, much more in tune with the universe, much more at peace.

[Razotter]

For me, its just... keeping it simple, not overthinking it, and above all, having fun.

In the words of the Great Gloria, I am what I am! n.n

[Rakuen Growlithe]

Same as Razotter here. Furry's just something I enjoy. I never understand people with huge things about how it's their soul's true form and stuff. To me it's fun and something that fits.

[Wolfers]

This will probably be quite oooold, because i tell everyone this when they ask me, but to me it was like coming home...

Like Hunter, i've always been fascinated and intrigued by wolves, and also bears; and that's where it all started. I especially love the serene beauty of wolves. Alot of my daydreams and thoughts before i even knew about the fandom, is strikingly furry-like. I thought i was just going insane. Hehe... i guess we all thought that at some point.

I chosed my fursona to be a wolf, becasue after all, i am a pack animal and not a solitary being. I enjoy moments of being alone, but crave companionship more. So, when i found the fandom, i fit in immediately... I am now part of something bigger, i can be the person i used to hide. I can have fun, i can be serious, i can love and cry... (wow, that's a bit morbid >.>;)

One of the things i love most about the fandom, is the closeness of the community. I love the affection and care that you can freely give and recieve right back... No boundaries. *smiles*

[szczurex]

For me... it's kind of runaway from stereotype thinking, doing something different.
It allowed me to do many things, meet furs, open myself and let's me think more open and wide.

Though my nickname chases me since elementary school, and it means a small critter...
"Szczur"="Rat"

And now i constantly hear one thing from a classmate or two... "You're shedding" or "You have fleas, or what?". Hehe furriness follows me everywhere.

[Hunterwolf]

I think i should add that furry is to me a sense of belonging...something im comfy with...and the general acceptance of the furry culture is something I enjoy ^.^

Its just that through the years bits and pieces fell into place, pieces of a puzzle, and showed me deeper insights into my furryness, and what it means and has given me.

Its still fairly simple...but at the heart of it there is so much more that has developed through the years...much like we develop from birth throughout life...so too has my fursona developed and evolved. ^.^

[Dracius]

Mmm... Could it have something to do with me having a dream one night and seeing the words "Dracius" carved into metal stone in yellow, with a sharp object? Was I just imagining myself? Am I mentally unstable??? O..o Happened nearly 10 years ago. I spelt it wrong for a while, Dracuis. It was intentional, as a number of people already knew me by that name, but some were spelling it on how they could to pronounce it. So I eventually gave tailwhippings and got it right ^..^

I have a few understandings of furry, but I once read a comment somewhere that the furry world is directly related to art. Without the art, furries would be nothing.

Then again, I dont consider myself to a be a furry. I've got a huge interest in dragons, and I'd really -love- to be one, but I also understand that I'm human.. I display my love for dragons with pride, nearly everyone I know knows that I have a fetish for dragons.

Though a few reasons why I'm attempting to be frequent in the community is cause I can engage with most furs on a level that I enjoy, mostly due to the open mindedness. Most are very friendly too and have huge interests in gaming, so thats a massive plus for the situation.

But yea, in the end, I definitely believe my heart is draconic. And for 'humans' that think is so stupid... I dont care what they have to think. I'm living my life the way I want to and I'm not messing anything up. ^..^ *wags his tail* So, its just a matter of whether I respect people based on the amount of respect that I receive from my opinions. I dont expect them to agree with it, but dont tell me to DIAF. I'm far from being biased..

I have a huge interest for mechanics too (cars, robots, etc), but I take the dragon stuff alot more personal...

[SheWolf]

This wolf's perspective? It's all what you feel, whether inside or out.
For me, I do feel a spiritual connection with the wolf. It is my totem. I have always been drawn to them since I was old enough to talk. I've always been drawn to anthropomorphism, and drawing pretty much everything I do towards it. Well, with the exception of tree animal portraits, which I also enjoy doing.
Being furry to me is being who I am; am no different to anyone who knows me as a non furry than to those who know me as a full on fur. I don't act any different, I am just as insane and goofy as I show wherever I go. What you see is what you get with me.

[Yukon]

It's always been a part of me, somehow. Didn't understand it at all when I was young, thinking "wtf's wrong with me?". Ever since I was about 7 I had an inexplicable liking for certain cartoon characters, particularly wolf-like ones. Even at that time I was embarrassed about waking up at 5 in the morning to watch certain cartoon series called "The Little Flying Bears" (somehow I remember it having a different name here) when I was in grade 1. Used to dream at that stage about being one of them in the cartoon, and often featured the wolf character in my dreams. In 1995 I took a liking to a cartoon husky named Jenna, from Balto. This being while I did have RL girlfriends a lot of the time. Didn't understand it back then and of course without the internet had never heard of furries.

Started on the internet in about 1998 and started finding the fandom, and then found furries. I took a particular liking to art by Huskie (http://huskie666.deviantart.com/), who joined my balto website to submit fan art. It was then that I started realizing I was a furry, and built a huge collection of furry art.

Still confused about myself and why I was this way, and a large part of me was uncomfortable with the fact. At one stage in about 2002 I decided it's not what I wanted to be, and deleted everything furry related off my computers. Several months later without any furry interaction/art I realized there was no getting away from it as it was a part of me. It's not something I needed as an escapism as I might have used it as when i was younger, but just something that is a part of me, which I had to learn to accept.

I do feel there is an infinite scale between being furry and not, just as there is between sexual preference (straight/gay). Not sure exactly where I fit on that scale of being a furry, as I still like regular human females as equally as the idea of a furry. Never been interested in plushies or fursuiting, but do fantasize about being a furry every night while falling asleep (though actual furry dreams are rare, yet enjoyed). I don't see it as anything "spiritual" for me.

I show my furry side IRL only by showing actively my like for wolves. All my bday/christmas present requests are "anything wolf-ish", and my room and office are covered in wolf pictures and ornaments. I used to be a committee member of the Lupus Foundation of South Africa (The Wolf Sanctuary), though that fell away after the person running it (who's number was on the website, which used to be wolf-sanctuary.com) started getting harassed telephonically by some really mentally messed-up American furry who knew me online as a furry and balto fan - still don't know what he told her to break my relationship with them