How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

The place to talk about anything just generally furry. If you have a furry-related thread that doesn't fit anywhere else, put it here! Just keep it clean.
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VoxLupus
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How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#1

Post by VoxLupus »

I was just wondering how open Furries are in general about, well... being a Furry.
This could be regarding friends, family or anyone else.

If you have any interesting "coming out" stories please share them :)
What was the reaction and general attitude to the revelation?

Personally I would never expect my parents to understand
and I have always kept most of my friends in the dark.
I did tell one of my closest friends once, but I think he thought I was joking :?

I think we can benefit from knowing these experiences and can give some
Furries insight about what to expect if they decide to come out :)
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#2

Post by Rakuen Growlithe »

:/ To quote the title of a thread in another furry forum, you don't have to come out as a furry. It's a hobby, not something that everyone needs to know about. You don't come out about being a fan of strategy games so why would you come out about being a fur?

In any case I certainly hide the yiff, though my parents would probably get upset over normal porn. But other than that there's nothing to hide and nothing to tell. I also used the furry fandom as the topic of a presentation I did to my class for a communication workshop.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#3

Post by Wolfskunk »

I'm with Rakuen, I've always thought the term "coming out" when referring to telling someone your furry is really melodramatic and it's way to powerful a phrase to use on something like the fandom. Especially since telling someone you like anthro's is no where near as difficult or important as telling someone your sexuality.

Personally? I'm extremely open, my facebook picture is me in my fursuit. All my friends know about it, my family knows about it and the people I work with know about it. Friends know I like yiff and know my species preferences(I raised was to be open about sex though and most of my friends are too) etc. They know about both the sexual and the non-sexual part of the fandom and which part I like. People at work don't know that(yiff etc.), but that's professional. You don't talk sex at work.

Simple as that and I have NEVER been called out on it by anyone. My general life tip is that if your open with people they tend to be open with you and as such an understanding is reached.
Last edited by Wolfskunk on Mon Apr 11, 2011 5:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#4

Post by VoxLupus »

I understand that Rakuan
but people could still look at you differently for being interested in that stuff.
I want to know to what extend will people’s perception about you change, if any.

I guess you are right when you say people really don't need to know about this
but what if you want your close friend to know. to use your analogy, you wouldn't
hide you interest of strategy games from him.

I think the misunderstanding is my fault. Let me clarify.
When I said "coming out", I didn't mean it like a homosexual would come out.
I simply meant letting someone close know about it.

Obviously it is important for someone who is comfortable being openly gay
let people know about it because that knowledge is necessary for
Comfortable dialogue and understanding in everyday life.

but there is still no denying that there is a social stigma towards furries
and that is what this thread is meant to focus on :)

Thanks for the insight Wolfskunk.
that is more like what I was asking for :)
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#5

Post by Wolfskunk »

VoxLupus wrote:I understand that Rakuan
but people could still look at you differently for being interested in that stuff.
Yeah that's just a fact of life and it's always going to happen with pretty much anything you do differently to someone else.

Another tip: Fuck it.

You are who you are, you have things you like and they have things they like. If friends can't see beyond you being furry and are upset about it, they need to re-evaluate their priorities and you need to ask how much of a friend they were in the first place.

Thanks for the insight Wolfskunk.
that is more like what I was asking for :)
Any time. contrary to popular belief I'm a nice fur. I'm just opinionated and like to rattle peoples cages sometimes. I don't bite, well not much...well maybe... ;)
but there is still no denying that there is a social stigma towards furries
and that is what this thread is meant to focus on :)
As for this I take the Jim Hardiman stance on furries and believe the fandom needs to have standards and maybe be a little more judgmental(check his FA page out for his WTFworks folios it's a cutting parody of the fandom).

As for how to handle this? Explain what furry is to people(there is an undeniable sexual undertone in the fandom though, browsing furaffinity is proof of this) and what it is to you. People who know you will start to question that stigma, because your not what they expected and that's a good start.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#6

Post by Rakuen Growlithe »

VoxLupus wrote:but people could still look at you differently for being interested in that stuff.
I want to know to what extend will people’s perception about you change, if any.
That can happen for all sorts of things.
VoxLupus wrote: I guess you are right when you say people really don't need to know about this
but what if you want your close friend to know. to use your analogy, you wouldn't
hide you interest of strategy games from him.
There's a big difference between coming out about something and not hiding it. You don't hide that you like strategy games but you also don't announce it. If it comes up in a conversation then it comes up. If he sees you playing (or looking for furry art) then it comes up there.
VoxLupus wrote:I think the misunderstanding is my fault. Let me clarify.
When I said "coming out", I didn't mean it like a homosexual would come out.
I simply meant letting someone close know about it.
Again that sounds very weird. How would you let someone know you like fantasy books? If books comes up as a topic then talk about it. It's not something you need to tell people. I don't even think homosexuals should come out. Just be what you are, if people notice then that's your coming out. If they don't then it obviously doesn't involve them so why are you even telling them?
VoxLupus wrote: but there is still no denying that there is a social stigma towards furries
and that is what this thread is meant to focus on :)
Is there? Perhaps there's a bit of a social stigma with people who have already heard about furs from the current media exposure but I'd say 90% of the stigma is all in fur's minds. I've been out with people fursuiting and, apart from some crying children, no one knew what it was about and they found it fun. Making threads about coming out as a fur just builds this idea that there's a stigma about it when most people, particularly here, have never even heard of it and, even if they have, don't care.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#7

Post by anoyomouse »

Wolfskunk wrote:Another tip: Fuck it.
My mom had a huge picture collage of furries on my wall framed and stuff for me, it has some of the characters from the untitled comic (http://untitled.comicgen.com ) and a character picture of anoyomouse as drawn by the artist in the middle, there is no picture of it online,a nd i don't want one ;)

my mom first called it cute, then she called it gay, so i said thanks

everyone who comes to visit knows i'm a furry, and i don't need to hide it
i've explained the fandom to people, and if they go like eww gross, you can ask them why they think so, and correct their problems with the fandom, and tell them that you're not involved in all the bad stuff, cause that's like 1% of the fandom if that even
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#8

Post by Tigris Astartes »

Most of my close friends know that I am a furry, their views on the fandom changed a bit when they found out I was one, because I didn't live up to the weird, shut-in, fetish loving pron freak that some of them thought of...

Not to say I don't have fetishes etc but they expected a creep to be honest, that was a year ago already and it's pretty much not made any changes, sure they poke fun at me being a fur from time to time but I poke fun at other things that they like. Life is fun like that! :3

Also I don't really see reason to explain what the fandom is to my parents since they don't need to know, they aren't curious and quite frankly it's not at all important. They have seen furry characters and my mom has said that they look like very well drawn cartoon characters. So that works for me xD!
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#9

Post by Rags_Wox »

I used to be fairly open about it to my family. But they all say I am sick for liking it, my brother used to mock me about it until I caught him with yiff content. As for my friends, they all know, work colleges know about my furriness, and I reckon that even though we all have our own opinions, we must not be judgmental. I'm a furry, he's a necromorph, she's an alien, they are vampires, who gives a f*@#. I don't and if you do, too bad for you(not directed towards anyone in particular). I am not open about my sexuality though, my parents are total "we will disown you if you go for the same sex" types.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#10

Post by Splicer-Fox »

Before we played paintball yesterday I told "Gordan Freeman" you were a furry like me.
He does kinda understand what it is about.
His response over Skype was "More of you? where the hell do you guys come from... :? "
He is a good friend though. ;)

But there are still people that I would never tell.
The response you get from people, is always typical. :|
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#11

Post by Dasc-Crescent »

As with pretty much anything I'm very open about it, my closer friends just think of it like liking anime, my older sister doesn't mind it and even stole a few of my folders of furry pics,
my Dad of course think its stupid and just a way for the devil to get to me,
my mom doesn't like or hate it, to her its also like anime,
my little sister is still at the age where she copies every one else so shes not a problem.
my teachers see my computers wall papers when I write exams and the business teacher once saw a rather revealing pic by Dark Natasha but of course just gave me death stare and left,
other people who find out only know of the fandom from that CSI episode so they find it hilarious, but still, so far no ones changed the way they see me or act around me at all,
and with the way i live i don't hide it, but I don't go out of my way to advertise it,
I wear my collar in public when i can and all,
but that's just for the hell of it
If the world's at large, why should I remain
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#12

Post by Venic Dragon »

that episode was funny. that poor Coon, didn't stand a chance. Poison, hit by a car and shot. thats funny.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#13

Post by VoxLupus »

Thanks for the feedback guys!

These have been some interesting stories
Thanks for sharing them :)
Splicer-Fox wrote:Before we played paintball yesterday I told "Gordan Freeman" you were a furry like me.
He does kinda understand what it is about.
His response over Skype was "More of you? where the hell do you guys come from... :? "
He is a good friend though. ;)
haha :D

Oh, and Darth Drakon, you are a saidist :p
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#14

Post by Yukon »

It depends a lot on you, your personality, how much you are hiding and how you deal with it. Someone who only likes the art may be ashamed because of stereotyping, and someone who likes yiff/etc. may be ashamed of admitting the mere liking of general furry art out of fear of further truths emerging or being assumed.

Confidence is a large factor. To put it bluntly, people can see if it bothers you and will take advantage as it makes them feel better about being "better", and "more normal", and becomes an angle to boast the aforementioned of themselves by putting another down...if you show them that you're genuinely not bothered about them knowing (confidence), then they don't judge as much or at the very least won't bother you about it.

I've been in all scenarios over the years: from being teased about things I've admitted, to ripping someone else off about their beginning furry interests at a young age mostly to protect and hide my own (regretfully), to now confidently telling several of my IRL friends just to get it off my chest (yes, I hate having to hide it). Usually my confessions to close friends (and siblings) have included my interest in yiff. So far, no problems, but I'm still very cautious about who I tell.

-------------------------

"my brother used to mock me about it until I caught him with yiff content" - LOL!!! I have a similar story :p
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#15

Post by sindal »

I don't mind telling people (save my family)

I just like fluffily drawn people is all,
honest >.>
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#16

Post by Wolfie-DMX »

Im getting to be more open about it in public, most of the guys from amateur radio and Disaster Management have seen me wear my collar without shame, and I sent them all a email not so long ago explaining it when the one guy tried to be funny and ask me what it was in front of the entire group lol. Havent heard from him since but the other guys think its pretty cool!

So yeah, my mom knows about my collar, and that Im a furry but she just laughs about it. My dad, err, is too controversial and would frown apon it so its a shhh for him atm, otherwise, as I am making friends I bring it up straight away, so that there are no hidden surprises in future...

Abviously the guys at work dont know either, since they seem a bit hostile to anything that isnt straight too, meh...
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#17

Post by Victor »

I have the picture EC draw for me when I was in PE, framed and hanging in my cubicle.
Image

I also have another picture of my furry self and someone else as my login screen
Image

Told them about it but are left pretty much along about it.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#18

Post by Aeowyn »

I was pretty hush-hush about it for a long time, but now I don't care who knows it or what they think. I wear my collar everyday, everywhere and I have furry art on my desktop at work. As a matter of fact I wore my horse-head in public today for the first time (it's not REALLY ready yet so I haven't worn it before. people loved it and I got asked to pose for photos. Kids all loved it) my family already knew because I love to draw anthros and eventually they asked what was with all the animal-people. I am proud to say I was able to explain it in detail and they accepted it without complaint. when I finally came out of the closet I went onto gmail and facebook and put the status "I'm a gay furry and I don't care who knows it!!" I had mixed responses from several people congratulating me, down to one person actually found me during my smoke break and said "hey I think someone hacked your FB account"
"why?"
"because they put a crazy status like 'I'm a gay furry' or some shit"
"actually that's true. I said that"
"silence......"
Please note that he's from my group of younger friends who are only entering their 20's now and who all thought I was some sort of pimp who gets at least 20 girls in the bed every weekend, which is actually the opposite of true.
but no-one has been outright anti-fur or insulting...
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#19

Post by Evalorus_Senshi »

I am certainly not ashamed to be considered a furry, yet, to state the candid truth, the only "place" wherein I am a furry is on the internet, haha. In and around my family, friends and associates, I never even bring the topic up. Why? Not because I am afraid to, but because, well, I guess I just don't believe I am 100% furry - I like anthropomorphic animals and art, I like the fandom (I have several friends in it, and I regularly associate with the artists in it), and I even have my own "fursona" (or, as I like to call it, dinosona), but that's primarily on the internet. :P I don't feel the need to fully express myself as one publicly. I know I am sounding like I am superficial and not a "true" furry (if such a paradigm exists), but just because I don't express or label myself as one publicly doesn't mean I am not one. XD I just see it as something that isn't that significant.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#20

Post by terror »

Just about everyone know's I'm a furry, except my parents :lol:

And I wear my collar when ever I can but still not really confident enough to wear it out in public, but will when I'm driving. Also don't wear it at work but that's because well it goes against the dress code and that's the excuse I'm sticking too :P
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#21

Post by Dragonwolf »

Closet fur HI 5 xD Hahaha. I'm quite secretive about me being a furry. I even sometimes get embarrassed when people use my furry name at meets. I don't know... I think I have never spent enough time around other furries to be able to be freely open. I'm so used to being bottled up.

But my GF does know about me being a furry... Though U can't say she is too thrilled about it. There are always a few that don't understand. She thinks I'm being childish. But who could blame her, being childish is fun :P

Other than that... Um... I think my best friend suspects me of being a furry. He's been around me long enough to probably know. And as far as my parents know, I know they know I like dragons a lot, but that's the extent of my suspicions.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#22

Post by Acynnonyx »

Well, Ive never seen this post before, but is one of my favorites.

In my case, the only person who knows about me being furry is my best friend. I told him since I noticed I would be furry, he told me that doesnt matter what I like he will support me, but I keep all my furriness hide of him because it looks like if he doesnt like at all. One day I asked him what he think about furry fandom and he answered: "childish" or people who wants attention and to be honest I dont blame him, in fact, what we are trying to get is to tell to the media what is furry fandom just to try to avoid what happened in other cities.

To be honest I dont think this is childish, nobody act like an animal or so, when we hang out, fursuiters just make fun with childs and families and many people seems happy with it (something I really love).

On my family side, one of my fur friends was shown on a tv program, I wanted to use that to show to my mother what I really am; she never payed attention and I never explained her about it then I decided Ill never try to explain again. She and my whole family (My father passed away long time ago) always support me what I want to be so I dont think is nessesary to come out. Anyway they all know I like animals since child by paintings Ive bought, pictures and things like that.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#23

Post by VoxLupus »

Wow, I forgot about this thread :roll:

Well, um. I had an interesting conversation just over a month ago with a close friend of mine. I think I brought it up in the worst way possible. It didn't go down badly though and we had a laugh. Since then the topic hasn't really come up again.
I am still not very open about it although I don't make an effort to hide it any more.

Also, I think Ryall has told many of his friends about me and him being furry so quite a few people know. But I realised that I really don't care.I know a lot of people know and it hasn't, and probably will never, change the relationship I have with them. Maybe I just have the right friends. I am glad that I can be interested in what interests me and not have to worry about what my friends think.

:D
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#24

Post by Obsidian »

Dragonwolf Lord wrote:And as far as my parents know, I know they know I like dragons a lot, but that's the extent of my suspicions.
Sounds like my family :D

"you really like dragons" .. yes yes i do o.O

I like the if no one asks then i don't say anything approach :P
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, especially if you live near him.

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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#25

Post by Hargan »

All my friends know I'm a furry.

Those who can't accept it aren't my friends :P

But I actually think I have to agree with Rauken's comments: At first, I hid it far away, not letting anyone see it. And when I came out, people said: "Oh, ok". And that was it >> No huge drama, no disowning.

So now, pretty much everyone knows i'm a furry, though I won't be wearing my fox ears in public again anytime soon. Why? Because I don't feel the need to yell out "I'm a furry" anymore. It's what I do in my free time (I still have that? :P) and that's good enough for me.
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#26

Post by Aeowyn »

it's great fun to occasionally walk down to the shops for ciggies, wearing my horse head. I feel completely anonymous with it on, so I always enjoy myself while wearing it. kids love it, someone inevitably stops me for a photo, and thankfully the people at my local supermarket know me well enough to not panic when a tall guy wearing a mask walks in.
so I'm a public furry, and i love it!
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#27

Post by Dragonwolf »

Obsidian wrote:I like the if no one asks then i don't say anything approach :P
Haha I don't even know if I'd say yes if someone randomly popped up and said, "Are you a furry?" Or even "You are a furry!" I think the one time my friend had friends over from the UK and ended up talking about certain SFW pictures on my phone a few years back and the one chick piped up and said, "You are a furry!" I went red and I was like no way. My friend was like, "What is that?" And ever since then he has suspected me of being one :P
"We should stop being envious of others and start being more accepting of ourselves."

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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#28

Post by Obsidian »

:lol: that awkward moment when someone says you are a furry :

Part of the problem is not knowing what their idea of a furry is, i know of at least 2 people who thought it meant we were into beastiality or something like it >.<

So until u know what their viewpoint its better safe then sorry :P
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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#29

Post by !3.0!3 »

Hay guys, i'm very open about it. I have nothing to hide. In actual fact i'm looking to get a collar to wear in public

All my friends are either furries or know I'm a furry, so all that is covered.

All the family i talk to know I'm a furry.

Pretty everyone I interact with regularly know I am a furry.

I AM A FURRY AND PROUD!!!!

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Re: How Open Are You About Being a Furry?

#30

Post by Kalium_Puceon »

I don't tell my parents, mostly because I don't think they'd approve of me talking to people I only know secondhand through Dasc, but eveeryone else knows
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