Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

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Ventus Fall
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Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#1

Post by Ventus Fall »

Hi everyone :)

When signing up, and editing my profile, I saw there was no option for either gender or sexual preference (pre-fur-ence) that actually suited me in either of the 'subjects'.
Now I know there are loads of genders people identify themselves as, as well as sexual preferences. So it's kind of impossible by now to have an option probably for all of them.

However, I would still like to add that neither Genderfluid (for gender), nor Pansexual (for sexual preference) are available.
I was wondering if we could implement at least these two? Especially if more people would be interested in it as well?

Oh, and I would also like to point out that while the selection for gender has 'other' -so that is allright, I suppose- sexual pre-fur-ence does not have the selection of 'other'. Only a 'prefer not to say'.
So if adding genderfluid and pansexual can't be done, can at least 'other' be added to the sexual pre-furence?

Thanks for reading :)
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#2

Post by Cape_F0X »

The short answer is; "This is not a dating site"

The long answer was a massive debate that claimed many lives and destroyed even more friendships.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#3

Post by Ventus Fall »

I don't see how adding those genders and sexual preferences constitutes this site as a dating website? There are already some elaborated genders and sexual preferences as well.
That aside, why is there no simple 'Other' option for sexual preferences? Only a 'Prefer Not To Say' option? I would like to say something, but it doesn't give me any other option than that one.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#4

Post by Leeward »

I've tried this before and failed miserably. Don't bother.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#5

Post by jacojerb »

I still don't get pansexual.

Its easy. If you like the opposite gender, you're straight. If you like the same gender, you're gay. If you like both, you're bi.

I know "pansexual" tries to say "we like all genders" where bisexual implies there's just two genders, but when it comes down to it, biologically there is just two genders.

Trans people still just identify as either male or female, and that's okay. But they're still just one of the two. And if I understand correctly, genderfluid is one gender the one day, the other the next. But still just one of the two

I guess, physically, there are hermaphrodites, but they are a mix of male and female, with one being more dominant. I wouldn't really consider them a third gender, seeing as they're just a mix of the two

So, in short, bisexual and pansexual are the same thing. It'd be silly to have two of the same options there


Edit: I forgot to mention asexual, which is having no sexual interest
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#6

Post by Ventus Fall »

Leeward wrote:I've tried this before and failed miserably. Don't bother.
It's a shame, sorry to hear about that, Leeward. I would only -either way- would like to see just if the option 'Other' at least would be added.

jacojerb wrote:I still don't get pansexual.

Its easy. If you like the opposite gender, you're straight. If you like the same gender, you're gay. If you like both, you're bi.

I know "pansexual" tries to say "we like all genders" where bisexual implies there's just two genders, but when it comes down to it, biologically there is just two genders.
I hope I don't sound like I'm attacking or being defensive, but if you don't get pansexuality, then I think it is odd to state it is the same as bisexual.
I'll try to see if I can hopefully clarify it a bit from my perspective, a result from discussions I have had with various Bisexuals and Pansexuals alike:
Gender is something else than a sex, and with that I mean biological predisposition to be a male or female. Bisexuality focuses on liking two sexes, not genders. You are -in general- physically male or female. Pansexuality focusses on the gender aspect. In short, they don't care what physical sex you are, it's not of interest. To put it more straight-forward: They like any gender, any sexual identity one perceives themselves to be. E.g. I can be a female physically, but feel I am -and identify as- a male. Or, in fact, I could be physically a male, but identify mentally not as female or male.
Technically, being straight, gay, or even bisexual does not indicate preference for the mental part, but for the physical part. I could go into a lot of detail, but I hope I made the main difference clear between bisexuals and pansexuals clear.

Eitehr way, my stance still stays: Whether we add genderfluid and/or pansexusality or not isn't the main focus for me. It's simply adding the option 'Other' for sexual preference.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#7

Post by MrRazot »

Hello people.

I know forums in general aren't dating sites (as a mod on another site, we also lock and destroy and romance RP threads), but then it's still a bit weird that you have the option to show your sexual orientation.
Sure it's a not/subtle way to get it out that you're straight, gay, or anywhere on the spectrum, but for the many people who don't follow a strict position on the straight-gay scale, an "other" option would serve as a great catch all.

Under gender options there's an "Other" option. Why not for Sexual preference?

No tumblr flame war required :P
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#8

Post by Galahad »

I am sorry to hear that you were unable to find options that more accurately portray who you are, Ventus. Leeward has attempted to change this, with very limited success - yet that does not mean you cannot suggest it. The management does appreciate feedback. :)

Should that fail, just keep in mind: it does not change who you are, and you are still at liberty to define yourself publicly as you wish. People can still know you are pansexual, even if your profile label does not say it. However, sexuality is not the most important aspect of this site, nor do I think it was designed with that purpose in mind. Hence, logistically, it catered to a statistical majority as much as it could with those labels, which makes sense. Please do not think you are being deliberately excluded.

You are taking a good first step by making the suggestion.

That being said, I hope you are still comfortable here.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#9

Post by jacojerb »

I went into that. Wether you identify as male or female, its fine. You could identify as it, and I will treat you as it.

Actually, I would argue, you should treat all people equally, regardless of gender or sex. Which is a thing that annoys me about transgender people. How can we treat all genders the same, which is really the right thing to do, if you are saying "treat me like I'm *insert gender here*". But eh, thats a different argument

The thing about sexual preference is, it is a physical thing. Do you like penises or do you like vaginas? The fact is, generally speaking, most people have a preference for either the one or the other, a sexual preference. The emotional stuff does add to that, noone would like someone sexually, if he/she has the best body and the worst personality

Claiming that its something special to like a person for who they are, instead of their body, is really insulting for the rest of us

If it doesn't matter what body a person has, you could rephrase that by saying that both penises and vaginas are acceptable, and thus you are bisexual
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#10

Post by Leeward »

Galahad wrote:The management does appreciate feedback. :)
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#11

Post by Ventus Fall »

MrRazot wrote:(as a mod on another site, we also lock and destroy and romance RP threads)
Well well, look at who's getting a bit more active on here now. Anyways, to respond!

Yeah, I forgot that is what we do as mods there and have done xD Would have been good if I mentioned that, perhaps.

Galahad wrote:I am sorry to hear that you were unable to find options that more accurately portray who you are, Ventus. Leeward has attempted to change this, with very limited success - yet that does not mean you cannot suggest it. The management does appreciate feedback. :)

Should that fail, just keep in mind: it does not change who you are, and you are still at liberty to define yourself publicly as you wish. People can still know you are pansexual, even if your profile label does not say it. However, sexuality is not the most important aspect of this site, nor do I think it was designed with that purpose in mind. Hence, logistically, it catered to a statistical majority as much as it could with those labels, which makes sense. Please do not think you are being deliberately excluded.

You are taking a good first step by making the suggestion.

That being said, I hope you are still comfortable here.
Hey again, Galahad :)
I saw indeed, it is a shame how things went on that thread, saw last post just now was back in April. Still, it seems a few would like to see some form of change with how things are mentioned. I don't necessarily want to 'overthrow' a system here, if not to just add the 'Other' option. I think it would be nice, as that would cover a lot of variations to begin with ^^

Oh no, I don't feel it'll change who I am, no worries x3 Thanks for that though!
If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I simply like to address it. I already added in the profile information about the gender fluid part, it was the best I could due to the 'Other' option. It's a nice way of going into specifics if one want. However, with the 'Prefer Not To Say' option: I do want to say it though, it's why I bring it up xD It feels like I can't say. Even if it's just that 'Other' would be added. Something like that would be nice, whether one would like to specify in their profile or not.

I don't think I'm being excluded, I didn't mean to sound like so if that is how it came across as. It is simply that I think indeed that Sexual Preference is a bit odd to add in this case, but since it's there, why not include everyone and simply add 'Other'?

Sorry if I seem to say things double, I didn't know how else to respond right now ^^

jacojerb wrote:I went into that. Wether you identify as male or female, its fine. You could identify as it, and I will treat you as it.

Actually, I would argue, you should treat all people equally, regardless of gender or sex. Which is a thing that annoys me about transgender people. How can we treat all genders the same, which is really the right thing to do, if you are saying "treat me like I'm *insert gender here*". But eh, thats a different argument

The thing about sexual preference is, it is a physical thing. Do you like penises or do you like vaginas? The fact is, generally speaking, most people have a preference for either the one or the other, a sexual preference. The emotional stuff does add to that, noone would like someone sexually, if he/she has the best body and the worst personality

Claiming that its something special to like a person for who they are, instead of their body, is really insulting for the rest of us

If it doesn't matter what body a person has, you could rephrase that by saying that both penises and vaginas are acceptable, and thus you are bisexual
Having no option as 'Other' or 'Pansexual', but having others and a 'Prefer not to say' option does not seem equal to me in any case. So either I choose 'Prefer not to say', which is a lie, or I choose a different sexual preference, which is also a lie.
To put it bluntly: It's turning the world around when arguing the point about treating people equally.

I don;t think I can otherwise state it and say: I don't care about penisses or vaginas. I really honestly don't. Therefore I cannot identify as a bisexual either, as bisexuals like both things. Pff, if anything, I would prefer neither, how odd that may sound. I care most about the person itself, not about it's dangly or non-dangly bits.
The discussion is not whether Pansexuality or any other sexuality should be added, but that an 'Other' option should at least be added for anyone who identifies as something else that is not on the list. I'm sure I said in the Original Post, I don't think adding every sexuality and the like is needed, the list can grow enormous. Simply adding an 'Other' option would be fine with me. I don't see a problem with that.

If you see it as insulting, that is not my fault. It is not my intent, and claiming otherwise seems insulting instead. I cannot control what other think of me. Nor do I care. If you think it's insulting, it's your problem, not mine.
Last edited by Ventus Fall on Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#12

Post by Dasc-Crescent »

At the very least, I do feel "Bisexual" covers the preference of pansexual well enough for the use on these forums.
If this was a specifically LGBTQI+ forum, then sure you can list all 32 genders or what have you. But as a social forum for furs, I think it covers the ground well enough.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#13

Post by Galahad »

I support your suggestion, Ventus. Though I personally do not see the need to add more specific sexuality fields (because more and more are being generated, it seems, so that it would be tiring to keep it up-to-date; and statistically very few would use the more obscure ones), I think your suggestion to add an "Other" field is sensible and reasonable.

At least, until a more convenient and efficient model replaces the current one. I believe Leeward is working in that area. :)
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#14

Post by MrRazot »

Dasc-Crescent wrote:At the very least, I do feel "Bisexual" covers the preference of pansexual well enough for the use on these forums.
If this was a specifically LGBTQI+ forum, then sure you can list all 32 genders or what have you. But as a social forum for furs, I think it covers the ground well enough.
As an Apache attack helicopter with a preference for oil drums, I find this offensive.

However the point is missed. All you need is the option of "Other" and everything is solved without implementation of the millions of genders and sexual preferences.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#15

Post by Ventus Fall »

Galahad wrote:I support your suggestion, Ventus. Though I personally do not see the need to add more specific sexuality fields (because more and more are being generated, it seems, so that it would be tiring to keep it up-to-date; and statistically very few would use the more obscure ones), I think your suggestion to add an "Other" field is sensible and reasonable.

At least, until a more convenient and efficient model replaces the current one. I believe Leeward is working in that area. :)
Hence the suggestion to add the 'Other' option, so if it's too tiring to add more, or edit, then anyone could always select that ^^
(As for tiring of editing, I would like to add as a side-track here that the forums MrRazot mentioned (where I to happen to be a moderator of), the administrators of said forum had and have no problems revising and editing the options. It's also shouldn't be too hard to do so. I've done some coding myself (front- and backend). To be fair, this is more an issue the staff would then address, rather than members of a forum as a whole.)

Haha, you referencing the survey, by chance? x3

MrRazot wrote:As an Apache attack helicopter with a preference for oil drums, I find this offensive.

However the point is missed. All you need is the option of "Other" and everything is solved without implementation of the millions of genders and sexual preferences.
Oh god, this made my day XD
And yes, thanks for pointing that out again, creep O_o
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#16

Post by Dasc-Crescent »

You do have a point, simply adding an "other" Option won't upset anything, while fixing any future problems with the issue.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#17

Post by Rakuen Growlithe »

There should now be an "other" option which shouldn't affect previous settings.
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#18

Post by Galahad »

Well, there you have it. ;)
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#19

Post by Leeward »

Well colour me surprised, something actually happened! :o
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Re: Gender and Sexual pre-fur-ence

#20

Post by Ventus Fall »

Oh wow O:
Thanks, Rakuen :D
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